Advent Calender

A few weeks ago, while dumb-scrolling on Instagram, I came across a reel reflecting on Mary’s predicament in Luke 1. To be husbandless in that context and carry such a burden, yet to be chosen by God for a task that would change humanity forever.

As I pondered Mary and her Song of Praise (Luke 1:46-55), my thoughts shifted to another woman in the same chapter, Elizabeth.

Unlike Mary, Elizabeth was old and barren. Luke 1:7 tells us, “They had no children because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both very old.” Yet within the same chapter, God’s promise is fulfilled through a barren old woman and a young woman, not yet married, and husbandless!

When we read Luke 1, it records both Praise and Prophecy.

Mary’s Song and Zechariah’s Prophecy (Luke 1:46; 1:67–79).

A praise and a prophecy, unfolding exactly as scripture promised.

Reflecting on my own season this year, I ask myself how these verses speak into my life. This year I prayed, fasted, for certain doors to open, and nothing happened. The more I prayed, the tighter the doors closed! And it was some of the quickest prayers I have witnessed, express delivery! Doors closed, and walls rose. Walls rising higher than the Wall of the North. (Game of Thrones).

I prayed for open doors, and the opposite happened, I waited for direction, and not a single sign, and in my impatience even applied for a role, despite sensing it wasn’t yet time and clinging to Exodus 33:15., and no surprise I received zero response. Another wilderness, fruitless, barren season?

Yet, as I reflect on Elizabeth and Mary, both used by God, both seemingly hopeless in the eyes of the world, I am reminded how the story unfolds. 

One past childbearing age; the other facing shame, rejection (even death, to be stoned) and yet generations would call Mary blessed (v.48), and light would come to those in darkness (v.79).

Not everyone may be walking this path, but for those who carry within us areas of being unproductive or fruitless, or who fear being shunned for choosing God’s will over societal expectations...

Especially for those of us in full-time ministry, we like to see results, we love numbers, we want to be productive, busy serving the Lord, and so when He tells us to wait, it's almost a contradiction. Our response always is, 'Here I am, Lord, send me', not delay me? So why?

You see, faith requires waiting and the risk of ridicule (remember Noah?), but it is always worth the wait and the risk.

Perhaps this is our Advent reminder: in God’s time, nothing remains barren, and He will never shun, forget, or forsake us. When the time is right, “I, the Lord, will make it happen.” What seems impossible becomes possible.

And so, on my part, what I can do is to trust in the Lord with all my heart, to lean not on my own understanding, to acknowledge Him in all my ways, at times even to risk being ridiculed, but it will be with the wait...

Because we are God’s chosen ones,  and we operate on God’s calendar :) 

Blessed Advent!

skin deep

Nike of Samothrace, 190 BCE.

In the 2024 movie, The Substance, the story takes a brutal swipe at ageism and beauty standards. 

It’s fiction, sure, but the themes are uncomfortably familiar. Moore’s character fights a system that devalues her because she’s ageing, and ironically ends up fighting for the same system by trying desperately to stay young. She turns to a black-market “substance” that promises beauty and perfection… and, as expected, it ends in horror.

But you don’t need a sci-fi movie to see the point. 

Just scroll your phone.

In the ’90s, makeup brands flooded the market, selling the basics: branded lipsticks, mascara, foundation, etc. 

Then came K-beauty and the nine-step skin routine that everyone swore by. Now it’s multivitamins, Pilates, going vegan, intermittent fasting, cold plunges, and Botox. We’ve even have billionaire Bryan Johnson and his project “Don’t Die,” with complete optimisation protocols (a blueprint), which I must admit is pretty awesome. So far, I am learning to sleep more (failing horribly at going to bed early) and to wear sunscreen even when I’m indoors, although I can’t eat my last meal at 11am, as Johnson does. I do follow his social media account.

The problem with our world right now is that everywhere we turn, reels, ads, influencers, and billboards, and there’s this pressure to live longer, look younger, stay flawless, and keep the body in top-tier shape. And honestly? Wanting to be healthy isn’t wrong. No one wants to deal with chronic illness in their 30s or depend on medication just to function.

But here’s what I’ve noticed:

Nearly all of it is focused on the exterior.

Skin. Hair. Body. Longevity. Glow-up.
Everything is about getting the best possible outside.

But what about what's on the inside? The mind, the condition of our minds? 

From a Christian perspective..

The Bible Talks About the “Inside” a Lot More Than the Outside

Across Scripture, both the prophets and the apostles keep pointing us inward:

• “Set your minds on things above.” (Col. 3:2)
• “Seek first the Kingdom.” (Matt. 6:33)
• “Work out your salvation.” (Phil. 2:12)
• “Let this mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 2:5)
• “Think about what is pure, noble, praiseworthy.” (Phil. 4:8)
• “Create in me a clean heart.” (Ps. 51:10)
• “Seek good, hate evil.” (Amos 5:14)
• “I will put My law in their minds and write it on their hearts.” (Jer. 31:33)

Scripture consistently teaches that the inner life, our thoughts, motives, desires, and heart condition, shape everything else. Left unattended, the inside decays long before the outside ever shows it.

It also gives us some of the most vivid images for this,

• A fig tree full of leaves but no fruit, and it is eventually cursed! Mark 11:12-14
• A vineyard that produced only bad fruit. Isaiah 5:1-7
• A whitewashed tomb, beautiful on the outside, dead within. Matthew 23:27-28

Really graphic and gory.

The Point Is This:

We can have:

• flawless skin,
• a sculpted body,
• perfect habits,
• clean eating,
• ideal routines…

…and still be anxious, bitter, insecure, afraid, or spiritually empty.

So what’s the point then?

What good is a glowing exterior if the interior is rotten?

Imagine wearing the nicest designer outfit, that Dior sprayed all over, the nicest trendiest new heels, that Birkin bag, and hair and make-up done to perfection,  you have done your Strava run, and drank that Matcha; but inside- recoiling with anxiety, fear, bitterness, envy, jealousy, holding on grudges, unforgiveness all the traits of a toxic potion.

Our bodies follow what our minds believe. They go where our hearts lead. What we focus on internally determines the life we live externally.

Jesus in Mark 7:1-23, especially from V 20, best describes what truly determines us as a person; our thoughts, our mindset, the condition of our hearts are what destroy and defile us, "For from within, out of a person's heart comes evil thoughts."

And if this is true, what are we working on? 

A Better Kind of “Self-Work”

I’m not anti-health or anti-self-care. Entering my 40s and really trying to reduce ‘sugar’, work out more, eat less chips and more vegetables. Yes, taking care of our bodies is essential. But I’m realising more and more that the deeper work, the more challenging job is working on my mind. 

At the end of the day, our body is operated and moved by our mind. It does what the mind tells it to do, say, and think.

As we continue to work on ourselves, I pray that our minds will continually be renewed and operate on principles inspired by Heaven, as we continue to live life to the fullest here on earth.

To work towards not just our physical body, but also to have a beautiful mind, because exterior beauty, after all, is only skin deep. 

The beautiful and the damned...

 

                                              William Powell Frith - Poverty and Wealth (1888)

Something beautiful and daming happened this Sunday afternoon. 

My sister-in-law, my nephew (3 years old), and I decided to have lunch at KFC (City Tower). And as we entered and sat down, and ordered our meal, I suddenly noticed these little child beggars peeping inside from the glass windows.

And, of course, I became very disturbed, as if I was in a dystopian movie. The image was all too real and uncomfortable. People sitting inside, sipping their colas and eating the fried chicken, fries and burgers, and these child beggars (maybe aged 8–9-year-olds) looking inside, perhaps waiting for a morsel.  But that day, I didn’t have time to think about them, and so i shut my mind- became 'non-active' when a rich opportunity rose before me to serve the Lord..

You see, I was too occupied with my world-sweet nephew, who at 3 is very restless and, yes, a tad naughty. And the discomfort of the AC not working properly inside KFC in that Dimapur humid summer was disturbing me more than the fact that kids were begging outside, while we were inside having our Sunday KFC meal!!!

As we got ready to leave, I noticed my nephew had rushed off somewhere again, as it is his nature to be constantly on the move.

I saw that he ran towards the glass door, and was talking and smiling to someone- when I turned, I saw that it was a female beggar who was sitting by the door outside. It looked like he made a new friend. He was utterly oblivious to her shabby clothes, her looks, the colour of her skin, and maybe even her smell. My nephew kept looking at her, smiling and trying to make conversation.

We walked out and got inside the car, and it was then I saw her face clearly, she was smiling back at us, or maybe only to him. A forlorn look on her face, but smiling, and my nephew smiled again and waved and waved bye-bye like he just made a new bestie!

That’s the beautiful part – and I get it why Jesus said, unless we become like children, we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.

Now the daming part is my inability to be missional, let alone a good Christian.

     

     Sometimes I think we have so many beggars and homeless people in our town because God wants to test our hearts. And that Sunday, I failed in three ways.

I failed because to me, comfort was more important. Usually, I would always buy food, a drink, a meal or a coffee whenever I encounter beggars in Bangalore, Nijmegen or Berlin. But that day, in my own hometown, I had no patience to walk back in and stand in line and order a meal at KFC because the Air Con wasn’t working inside that day, and I wanted to get out as quickly as possible. (Dimapur Summers are intolerable for me because of the humidity, not that it's an excuse).

Second, all my attention was on my family, my adorable nephew, and everything else became obsolete that day.

And the third part was me patronising my sister-in-law for giving money to the female beggar, because one should not encourage begging, forgetting that famous Mother Teresa quote that I have quoted/cited numerous times, “Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” 

Because I refused to give money, since I usually provide a meal; however, in this case, I was not even able to do both, yet I found myself correcting someone who was at least doing something- a good act, a small act out of great love.

Perhaps my sister-in law saw that this lady who was begging, was also a mother like her, and this is her only means of income- to fend not only for herself but for her children, or maybe if she doesn’t earn enough that day, the ‘goons’ or illegal criminal organization that is in charge of these organized beggars would beat her later, for not making enough money. Numerous reasons to do a good deed, zero reasons to do none!

     

     The beautiful act of being nice, seeing them as humans, as friends even, was done by my three-year-old nephew, and the beautiful act of empathising and being compassionate and generous was done by my sister-in-lad. Meanwhile, me- zero. 

In my hurry to get to Nirulas (ice cream parlour) because the Air Con will be working there hopefully, and I wanted to get away from the humidity as quick as possible. Being a slave to comfort, I failed my Christian duty that day.

And so, the Holy Spirit convicted me- reminded me that yes, I failed, and I failed big time that day.

I pray that the next time, no matter how hot or cold or uncomfortable, I will have the wisdom to love like my nephew and my sister in law, to continue to see the poor in our midst, as an opportunity to do good, and serve and honour God- That Sunday, they were the beautiful ones, and I the damned...

Matthew 25:37-45

³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

 

 

embracing the obscure

The Potato Eaters, by Vincent Van Gogh, 1885. 

I am expected to submit a research essay on the concept of 'power dynamics.' It's part of a compulsory module and part of my doctoral program for the first year. I struggled a bit here because, after collecting the required data, the outcome didn't go as I expected. And so, even as my 'essay' is stuck in a rut, and I am super demotivated (analysis paralysis), I thought I would write something that is unacademic —and on the concept of 'power', if not dynamics.

In church life or Christian ministry,  the concept of power is supposed to be the opposite. A paradox. One where the 'meek' inherit, the poor are rich, the sad are comforted, the last is first, and children (considered the least) are the criteria for one to enter the kingdom of heaven. However, at times, we do not witness this paradox.

Too often, Christian ministry has been tainted by 'power.' The pastors are now referred to as 'senior' pastors. Normal preachers are bearing the title of 'apostles.' Enter a church office of a full-time minister, and you will see the walls adorned with their certificates/degrees. Not bashing it, but it happens mostly here in India. 

As if that is not enough, too often in Christian ministry, the place of the degree is also a matter of pride, and the leading ones are Oxford, Cambridge, Heidelberg, Princeton, Duke, etc.  It is a matter of great pride and validation for a Christian minister to have conferred their degree from a prestigious university, akin to the holy anointing that comes down from Abraham's beard. 

Titles and geographical validation appear essential, but there is one more aspect: social connections. When Christian ministers rub shoulders with 'powerful' politicians, it is the final seal on their divine calling.  They have their 'Lydia' on call 24/7. The ability of these Christian ministers to fly business class, not worry about church funding, use the latest iPhone, iPad, iWatch, because one must be up to date with the world, if one were to save the world.  

And as we hold on to these 'powers', earthly powers of titles, prestige, and the right connections, our bond towards them grows stronger, and our dependency on God grows weaker. 

We have no worries; we are confident in our status, our achievements, and our powerful friends. There is no need to pray and fast and 'Ask to receive.' Our standing is strong; we have it all, or so we think.

Perhaps it is not the power we think we need- but the obscure we need to embrace.

Not a well-known establishment, but perhaps an obscure town called Bethlehem (now under Palestinian territory). Not a famous title or degree, but a carpenter/manual labourer/ and not too lavish, with a branded designer high-end luxurious crown, but a wooden cross. 

Perhaps it's the small places, the humble beginnings that need to remain not only our beginning but embodied in our being- to be meek, to be humble, and perhaps even obscure.

As my cousin once reminded me, 'this is why it was Frodo, who was chosen for the task. Not the powerful elves, nor a king, but a hobbit, to walk across Mordor.' 

Blessed are the obscure- for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven. 

Disclaimer: 

No shade to anyone who studied/graduated from Oxford or Cambridge; I still have friends there, lol.

Light Nai ~

          Berlin, Tempelhofer Feld/ Nividi Kevichüsa, Summer  2021.

Nagaland is a relatively new state, the 16th state of India to attain its statehood in 1963.

So, we are a new state, with new districts and new towns, and a host of issues, like every state has, throughout the rest of the world. Apart from the numerous structural problems that plague our state, one that particularly affects ordinary people is electricity failure. 

This problem persists every year, affecting the inhabitants of the fastest-growing commercial town in the state, the district of Dimapur.  

One, because all the businesses, start-ups and commercial hubs are here clustered in this town, which is soon growing into a large, packed city,  there is a lot of electrical consumption,

And second, because well, we are a very corrupt state, and the state admin is one of the worst in the country (one Google news click will show you)

And so, summers here in this town means a level of discomfort which is surreal, because from all the rest of the 17 districts in Nagaland, this one is located in the plains, and not the hills, which means summers here are next to hell.

Every summer, with temperatures reaching as high as 45 °C and humidity levels as high as 85-95%, the heat and humidity become unbearable from May to June, lasting until the end of October, at times extending into November. 

And with the existing structural corruption and lack of proper administration, there is heavy load shedding every year!

A few weeks ago, (like it does at least 3-4 times a year), the transformer in our colony blew up again! And as we say in Nagamese, 'light nai.'  

And we were in a blackout zone for 3 whole days!!!

During this blackout, the discomfort we felt was next-level. Our inverters had stopped running by then; our water pump couldn't pump water anymore. We had to resort to using private generators, and, of course, we couldn't use AC. We had minimal lights and fans.

Long story short, the power department eventually found a replacement transformer (second-hand, btw, not new), and the diligent workers did their best to restore the power. 

It made me think of what it's like to live in complete spiritual darkness. 

It's discomforting at first, but we eventually become accustomed to it. We may have the occasional bumps and knock ourselves trying to navigate our way in the dark; we sweat and curse the darkness, but eventually, over time, we get used to it, and we have to, because it's the only way. We learn to adjust to the darkness.

And that's a scary thought.

Ephesians 5 talks about the people living in the light.

V1 commends us to 'follow God's example in everything we do.' 

V 3-7 a strong and clear warning on things to avoid and not to participate.

V8- For though your hearts were once full of darkness, now you are full of light from the Lord, and your behaviour should show it.

V9  For this light within you produces only what is good, and right and true.

V11-Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness

V12- It is shameful to even talk about the things that ungodly people do.

V13- but when the light shines on them, it becomes clear how evil these things are-

V15 so be careful how you live, not as fools, but as those who are wise-

When the transformer burst in our colony, the electrical failure around us created a period of discomfort, and we longed for the light to return so that we could have a life of ease and comfort. However, over time, we become accustomed to it because we had no choice.

Imagine how our lives would be if we got accustomed to living in spiritual darkness...

While our state, districts, towns, and colonies continue to struggle with having light (electricity), we always say, 'light nai' (means 'no light' in Nagamese Creole). 

The good news is that our spiritual life doesn't have to be in darkness; we have a choice to live in the light, which is accessible to us 24/7.

"Arise O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will give  you light."

St Paul to the holy people in Ephesus/Ephesians 5: 14. NLT.

grey skies watered down~

 

          

this year my hair turned grey

my wrinkles became more prominent,

eyesight became weaker and the fats harder to burn

my forties have arrived with no mercy

ruthlessly reminding me that my time from neverland has long passed, and with it the gloom and dread that I'm getting old

Shangri-la was perhaps only a  far fetched dream.

and so, I doused myself with Matcha Latte, I try to be more regular at staying fit, and I sip Ashwaganda tea religiously-

perhaps not to flee ageing, but to embrace it gracefully, in the hope that it will be kinder, softer, gentler to me

this year, I am no longer caught up in the follies of my youth,

they finally left, and along with all that was young, reckless, heedless and thoughtless.

and with that, I tell myself I'll be ok,

a little old-er and maybe a tad wiser-

grey and all.