Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
This year, 2024, did not go as I envisioned. The year started with a devasting update in January and left me in tatters. In the beginning of spring this year, I was approached by a friend, to direct a Musical (amateur theatre) to help raise funds for a particular volunteering project. Long story short, the project took about six months. It involved a lot of brainstorming, planning, meetings, a combination of stress, unlimited coffee and Redbull, tension, disappointments, blood, sweat and tears, and excitement, laughter and joy, all rolled up in one melting pot, as any theatrical production demands. And the end result was as we expected, brilliant to the core!
Amid this journey, I did ask God, what was the purpose of this project? (apart from raising funds). The hopeless romantic part of me assumed, maybe I would finally meet my soulmate? ..I didn't. Maybe this is the kickstart I needed for my career?/ Academic gap? ... It wasn't.
And it all seemed futile, especially in the aftermath of the project, when the curtain finally fell down, the applause faded and the lights were put out. I came back home, days passed, weeks passed, and nothing. I am still single, there is no sudden inspiration in my academic or writing career, and everything seemed like it was stuck in a rut, like I was back in January.
And then, this morning it hit me. It slowly came in waves at first, like the morning waves on an empty beach, as the sun slowly began to rise on the horizon. The purpose of this project was for me to heal from the horrors of January.
In the frenzied activity, the (good kind of) stress, the intensive planning, the non-stop practices, the internal dramas and rehearsals, and dealing with props, stage lights, and sound, people, I had no time to be sad or depressed, nor regret and lament the loss of January. The chaos and demands of the Musical Project paved the way for me to not think about January, and prioritise my time and thoughts on something far greater and purposeful. Before I knew it, it was November, and our show was a big hit.
In Lewis Caroll's Alice in Wonderland, she slips down the rabbit hole and enters into a world of magic and wonder. In one of the scenes, as her body is distorted (gets smaller and bigger) she laments the famous words "curiouser and curiouser," which in the original English should be "more curious." However, it was Carroll's way of stating that Alice is in a world where the normal rules don't apply.
Sometimes, in life, perhaps we are like Alice, either caught up in a maze, falling down the rabbit hole, or invited to a season of Madness (Mad Hatters tea party), and things at first may not make sense. But as life unfolds, it begins to.
For me, 2024, did not start as I envisioned it, and my assumptions with the Musical Project were also different, however, what unfolded was not what I wanted, but perhaps what I needed, and strangely, the hectic schedule and stress preserved my sanity, and kept me from breaking down. The Project made me scream, cry, laugh and applaud. It revived my excitement for arts and theatre, and unravelled emotions that had somehow become alien to me. It was a defrosting process that began to melt and release. This year, January came with a storm, but spring and summer kept me busy, and now I look forward to embracing December and all that is good with it.
