Sylvia and me : Tribute to Sylvia Plath

I write because there is a voice in me that will not be still

A voice that says, go on, keep walking

A voice that says, believe again, trust again, learn to love again

A voice that says, go on and hope for the best in the face of a storm

A voice that says, look up at the silver lining

A voice that says, this too shall pass

A voice that says, the wait is worth the wait

A voice that says, the end will be happily ever after

I write because there is a voice in me that is louder than my own…

Suggestions, not by Orelia Has Orchestra

I cannot hear, I refuse to see,

I seek suggestions

for it only takes a second for my heart to come crumbling down

I cannot feel, I refuse to be

I seek suggestions

for reality is has adapted itself to a mundane life

full of grey skies and crummy people

I seek suggestions

a world of cobbled streets and street lamps

or artist, and painters and poets

who drink and make merry

of food fit for the gods and where lovers never cease loving

I seek suggestions

and then bang!

I awaken, I awake

to the dull sour air in around me

a life of mediocrity, where I long to be released

I seek suggestions

I am suggested

that there is more to life than this...

Catcher ...

“Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be."

~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 22, spoken by the character Holden Caulfield

The first time I read this book was back in Delhi when my dear (playwright)  friend Nicholas Karkonger, whom I deeply love, gifted me this book on my 20th Bday. It changed the way I viewed life, art and people forever.

The story as some of us know, is in a narrative of Holden Caulfield and his dissatisfied, messed up if I dare say messed up life and how it slowly progresses as he finds meaning and purpose in life. 

There are a thousand ways to interpret this infamous quote, by Holden or rather by Salinger, but now, with just 3 weeks left to graduate from "Seminary" I realise that yes- this is what I've always wanted, and what I will be doing, and what I hope to do, with the one life that I have. Perhaps through theology, perhaps through the arts, perhaps through life, but yes this made sense, and it has a purpose and a meaning. It is profound and aligns with the Nazareth manifesto we find in Luke 4:16, and Isaiah 61:1.

I want to be that 'Catcher' in a huge field where there are thousands of crazy youths playing around, with no one around to guide, lead, or hold them. And if they are going to fall or jump off the 'cliff' and are running towards the 'cliff' I want to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I want to do- just be the catcher.

 

Reflections from Habakkuk: In the absence of figs, grapes and olives.

      

This morning at the Chapel, Dr Kathleen Rochchester shared from the book of Habakkuk, in dealing with the questions of ‘Whys?’ in our life. She started off by saying that the ‘Why’ question is a very juvenile type of a question usually found among children who tend to ask ‘but why?’ on almost anything that exist.

Habakkuk, ‘ 1: 1… How long O Lord, why …..’ Sometimes in life, when we see so much injustice, and the wicked living in ease and comfort, and God seems silent we tend to question God’ and it’s ok to question Him, for he will give us an answer. It is like a cry a lament…

 Next the point which she highlighted out beautifully was from Chapter 2, about ‘waiting on God, for the vision to come to pass’ and from V 4, ‘ the righteous live by faith.’ She reminded us that, God has a plan and a purpose for each one of us, and that sometimes in life, we do not see the whole picture, or we fail to see God’s hand in our lives. Yet, it is good to wait on the Lord.

The Hebrew verb, ‘remember’ was also highlighted by the speaker, who said that this word, ‘remember’ is in a continuous tense, as well as active, in Hebrew usage. And she used this to tell us that, ‘Habakkuk’ choose to ‘remember’ who this God is, in the midst of what he was going through with injustice and evil all around him- that this is the same God who split the waters open, (Hab 3: 9)the same God who made the stars and Sun standstill,( 3: 11) and this same God was still with him.

She also said that, to live by faith is a two way concept: a word- play in the Hebrew, where we hold on to God by faith, and in his faithfulness, but at the same time, He also holds on to us, because He is faithful. And sometimes in life, even when the thread which are holding on may seem to small and tiny, it is still there, because God is faithful.

Habakkuk makes his lament before God, about the injustice and evil around him, and yet he is reminded by God that, God sees all things- he will bring shame on the proud and the haughty who live in unrighteous behaviour, the goody two shoes will be bought down, the ones who scheme and plan evil will be exposed, therefore do not let these things bother you, but you Habakkuk live by faith in God.

And finally, Habakkuk realises this,  and makes this famous statement,

Hab 3:16-18 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord,I will be joyful in God my Savior.

 By the end of his lament, Habakkuk is satisfied and understands that God is sovereign and anything He says does come to pass. It is not so much on how strong  or weak our faith is, it is because God is a faithful God. Shalom. Nothing broken, nothing missing 

GAP

                                                                                Gap                                                       

This is not about the clothing line of stores, but about the ever-growing ‘gap’ which I continue to witness in our globalized world. See, on V Day, me and two of my friends decided to go for the 1Billion Rising (human rights on women issues) @ Cubbon Park. The adds were pretty impressive, and so were the facebook updates. Times of India covered it pretty well, and Anoushka Shankar was also expected to be a part of the dance cum rally.

Full of excitement and gusto, we traveled on the autorickshaw, with my cell phone GPS on, cz we had no idea where the main venue was. And we were fully prepared with an extra dose of sunscreen, comfortable shoes to dance through the streets of Bangalore, expecting a flash mob, and my friend with her Nikon SLR, and me in my compact Sony HD to take videos.

But alas, we reached the venue, and it was a pathetic sight with just a few handful of people, poorly organized, a few tribal women, eunuchs dancing on a handmade drum, and a few wannabe activist at the main entrance of the park. The whole ‘show’ seemed to just want to attract the attention of the heavy traffic jam cars, honking away to glory and 7 or 8 police officers trying to patrol the streets. This wasn’t what I anticipated at all. I had images of a Times Square type of hub, people packed through the streets like the time when Kolkata Knight Riders won the IPL, and full music blasting the streets of Bangalore with every woman, girl, student, activist, doing the Gangnam style. Even the street plays were so pathetic I cringed when I saw it, live paintings were somehow ok, and that was it. Where was the 1 Billion blast I was expecting???

So, full of disappointments, my friends suggested we visit UB City, which was right on the opposite side.We walked there, and lo and behold, I wasn’t in India anymore. Jimmy Choo, and LV greeted me, the mall looked like Dubai, and even the guards there were polite and posh. Of course we just strolled there for 15 minutes and made our exit, because this was way off our budget again.

This lead to an interesting discussion, the ‘GAP’ between the rich and the poor, the haves and the have nots, the downtrodden across the streets who lay their hopes and voices on a group of a poorly organized pot-smoking activist with their Fab India get-ups, and tie-dye t-shirts, and the high street fashion people in their BMW’S with just a road dividing them.

This is Bangalore, and this is India. …  and will I ever live to see the day when this ‘gap’ will close in I wonder…

But then I didn’t have much time to think, for we three were starved and thirsty and googled  ‘just dailed’  our way to Millers 46,  a cozy nice pup, with just the right amount of burgers and steak and drinks to quench our hungry stomach, and within our middle-class budget.

So that’s how I spend my V-Day 2013… experiencing disappointments, getting frustrated and gobbling it all down with a nice Texan style beef burger and a cool glass of margarita   the ‘tap beer’ would have gone better with the burger, but then they said they don’t serve tap !!!